What to say when friend has 3 months

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jamba
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What to say when friend has 3 months

Post by jamba » Mon Aug 31, 2015 5:20 pm

Just heard my frend has only few monthts to live. I can't understand. Seems all i do is wrong. How do i ... i don't know how. This is out of my experience. Sorry to bother you. Damn

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mt bandit
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Re: What to say when friend has 3 months

Post by mt bandit » Mon Aug 31, 2015 5:46 pm

WOW that's a tuff one,, sorry to hear that man , i feel your pain bro
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hounddog
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Re: What to say when friend has 3 months

Post by hounddog » Mon Aug 31, 2015 5:58 pm

Sorry to hear that Jamba.
All I would suggest is spend some time with your friend , depending on how physically active he or she is , but maybe go out for a meal, have a few drinks, talk about normal stuff , do things and see places they will enjoy . Even a takeaway and a pizza and a DVD , Everyone is different but my experience of people going through a tough time is they appreciate friends being around them ,
Just my opinion
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MadStu
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Re: What to say when friend has 3 months

Post by MadStu » Mon Aug 31, 2015 6:16 pm

Perhaps read this ladies letter before deciding

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... sband.html
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Bonnielad
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Re: What to say when friend has 3 months

Post by Bonnielad » Mon Aug 31, 2015 6:37 pm

Wow Stu, that's a bit raw. But I can't help thinking she should have told them before. I'm sure they would have understood.
I understand what Jamba is going through because I am in a similar position. I have a close friend that has mesothelioma, terminal lung cancer brought on by exposure to asbestos.
When I visit we talk about bikes and projects. I don't bring the subject up but if he wants to talk about his illness, I listen. It makes me feel so helpless.... but so grateful for the time I have left.
Carpe Deum, as they say.
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Wirralman
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Re: What to say when friend has 3 months

Post by Wirralman » Mon Aug 31, 2015 6:59 pm

Two years ago I was close to death in hospital, I spent 7 weeks there in total, one of which was in intensive care. My wife came to see me every day, but on some afternoon or evening sessions I had friends come to see me. It took pressure off my wife and allowed her time to do other things that needed doing like looking after our children then aged 8 and 10.

For me, it was nice to feel that someone took the time and trouble to see me. I also cannot express how grateful I was to receive 20+ Get Well cards from my friends on this forum.

One friend came to see me whilst I was in Intensive Care but I did not want to see him because I A) was hooked up to 14 different tubes/sensors/monitors, B) couldn't handle it either emotionally or physically, and C) did not want to miss a minute of being with my wife.

So if I was in your position I would firstly check with his family about visiting. If they would rather not lose the precious time they have left, write to him. If either you see him physically or write, don't focus on his illness or your personnel difficulties coming to terms with the situation, just talk about normal things if he wants to talk about his health let him raise the subject,
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yeti341
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Re: What to say when friend has 3 months

Post by yeti341 » Mon Aug 31, 2015 7:38 pm

You just got to be there for them and do what they want been through it myself ,
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Derrick
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Re: What to say when friend has 3 months

Post by Derrick » Mon Aug 31, 2015 8:27 pm

I would agree with Yeti, vevery case is different, but be there for your friend and their family. If it's hard for you, it's even harder for your friend.
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gegdonnell
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Re: What to say when friend has 3 months

Post by gegdonnell » Tue Sep 01, 2015 10:17 pm

I understand, your situation, my wife had breast cancer 6 years ago, and I spent every day seeing her, if my family and friends spent any time to visit he it would have been appreciated, but did not happen. So I would coordinate with your friends relatives to visit. I understand, you may not know what say, but I would talk about everyday issues, and not discuss his condition in too much detail, as it may be too sensitive, at the moment.
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jamba
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Re: What to say when friend has 3 months

Post by jamba » Wed Sep 02, 2015 4:29 pm

Thank you for your valuable advices. I do my best to follow them.

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